Change

CHANGE


Definition:  The act or instance of making or becoming different.


QUOTES 


"Life is always at some turning point." -Irwin Edman


"The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable." -John F. Kennedy
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Change is hard.  Not only that... change is necessary.  For about 2 years my life has been constantly changing one thing after another.  Starting off with moving, meeting Joel, getting married, moving again and again, and loosing jobs and getting another job, maybe babies, then loosing a baby.  Life has defiantly been at its full force lately.

I'm not saying I hate life... I'm mostly saying that I'm ready for my life to take a new direction. I'm hoping that now that we've moved that we'll stay at this place for a while.  Mainly because I love the company and also because I feel like I can be myself here.  Like its finally time for Me to be Myself.  Which has been really tough for me since I moved to AZ.  

My husband always tells me "Would you rather feel the pain of Change or the pain of Regret?" Which really makes me think about my choices a lot more. I recently started exercising a lot more and have been "trying" to eat a lot better for myself.  I'm going swimming a lot so I don't have to work up a sweat lol and I've been trying to do some more positive thinking.  


I have a very low self-esteem which effects my friendships and relationships a lot.  I always need reassurance that I look good or that I've done the right thing.  Because I'm just not that confident about who I am and what I do.  I've been trying to change that way of thinking but its so hard.  But I'm keeping at it.  


I have had a very moody week so far.  I didn't notice until this morning that my Period is late... which is making me irritated because today was a day that I NEEDED at drink.  Mostly an alcoholic beverage preferably!  But nope my Aunt Flo hasn't showed up so I can't drink! Oye! I'm hoping that I am pregnant but I doubt I am.  I don't really have any symptoms besides the obvious PMS symptoms so I guess I could have a drink.  But I need to respect my body and not give into temptation I really don't need alcohol that bad.  I just need to punch something ha.  


Last night I got sick... I think it was from the junk food or something.  My stomach started to hurt really bad and before I knew it I was throwing up in the toilet.  About 30 minutes later I feel really ache and my stomach was empty.  But the nausea went away.  


Well.... Here's to Change... May something Good come of It! <3


Xoxo

Moving: Phase 2

So we still have a long way to go but we basically cleaned everything up and organized all that were in boxes are in better, prettier places. We did move all of our Bathroom and Bedding set here.  We also brought all our cat stuff and our two cats here as well.  


Poor scared kitties are under the couch freaking out.  They were exploring but now they're just scared and haven't come out yet.  But I assume that when they get hungry or need to. Oh wow speaking of the cats they just came out and I stuck them in the bathroom so they can use the potty and eat so hopefully they do.


We went swimming today after cleaning for a few hours and now every muscle in my body is sore! Ug! Well tomorrow is the big day when we move the rest of the stuff in!  So be prepared for a poorly spelled and lethargic sounding post because I will be so tired! lol But all is well and we're loving this place already!


Xoxo

Moving Phase 1

So today is the day where we move as much stuff as we can until Monday rolls around.  So far we got a few boxes moved in.. our entertainment center and are huge sofa which our strong men bravely took up the stairs nearly killing themselves!  Have I mentioned how much I love these Men and how appreciative I am of them... Well if I haven't I am now.  Without these strong, witty, brave, sarcastic, amazingly funny and adorable men all us girls would either be bored or lesbians! And neither of those sound too pleasing! lol  So thank you men for helping when needed and being there when we need it the most =)

The Entertainment Center almost Done.

So we're all still alittle overwhelmed by all this moving  and unpacking.  My whole body aches from scrubbing the bathroom, moving boxes and furniture and putting Joel's brand new desk together.  I had this sudden burst of energy from drinking coffee of course and just couldn't stop doing things.  Course having my whole life sprawled out in front of everybody (as in all my items in general) is a little overwhelming to me.  I get very mad at myself because people have to stare at my junk.  

This is the Mess I'm talking about.

I know to most of my friends its not a big deal and its understandable to have a mess cause we are indeed moving in... I just still feel responsible for mess and embarrassed that everyone has to be overwhelmed by it as well.  But the good thing is I'm starting to see a good change in this place.  Things are looking more feminine and clean.  I love how organized and stylish everything is turning out to be.  

Sorta Blurry but its stylish

The Sofa Made it safely

Here's Joel's desk.  I put it together all by myself!

The tub that I literally scrubbed til I couldn't no more.

Safe to say I have officially overworked myself but I am content because everything looks pretty.  I'm super excited about painting Stephanie's living room too.  I have it all planned out and so does Bethany.  I also get to design my room too!  So I'm SOOOOO excited about that one! lol  I think my Hubby is bringing the cats over as we speak so I'll let you know how them react to this brand spanking new place! lol I'm pretty sure they'll flip!  




Xoxo

Happy Birthday Joel

Today is Joel's Birthday!  Yay!  Also its our friend Alex's Birthday as well!  So far not much has happened mainly because we're getting ready to move on Saturday and Monday. But Joel and I did have our alone times together and it was indeed nice.  


Right now I'm sitting in our Church Educational Center where we are indeed having swing dance lessons. Course about 30 minutes ago I started feeling the weird pain around my left hip and it hurts so bad.  I have no idea what I did to it.  I didn't really do a whole lot today except for clean some.  So I'm sitting in pain wondering when this darn Alieve will kick in so I can hopefully dance a little bit.


Later tonight we're going to Zachary's Pizza to Celebrate the Boyz birthdays and probably just all hang out.  I feel like being social today I just I feel better by that time!  Ug DUMB LEG! 


So I haven't been talking about babies much either... but its mainly because I was seeing if I could keep my mind off of them... Nope I can't.  I love babies too much to stop thinking about having one.  I told Joel and if nothing happens til December then I want to see a fertility doctor just to make sure everything is ok with both of us!  


Oh and Joel is going to join the Air Force.  We'll see if he'll make it!!! We have so many plans I hope everything runs smoothly from here until we get going!  


Xoxo

Getting Going On Life

I finally got around to writing again.  Joel and i had an amazing One Year Anniversary yesterday.  I woke up and he made me some breakfast and gave my not one... but TWO bouquet of flowers.  One bouquet was very colorful and beautiful and the other was a dozen roses!  I love him.  

<3 My Flowers! <3

Then we spend time together watching TV shows like The Office and well.. doing married business.  Then we got all Snazzed  up and went to Olive Garden and had a wonderful meal and dessert.  Then went to the movies and watched Kong Fu Panda 2.  Which was hilarious BTW.  


The only bad thing was that when I woke up for some reason all my joints mainly the ones below my waist we inflamed and sore and swollen.  So I could hardly walk or sit or even move without hurting all over.  I think I was having an allergic reaction cause I've had the reaction before to a shaving lotion.  But I'm not positive.  But I took some alieve and by the end of the night I was starting to finally feel better.  But my night was very delightful.


Today was a nice day as well.  Mainly just sat around lounging. And played DnD with some friends which was quite hilarious! lol Joey and I were our own group and we stumbled upon John, Cliff, and Mikes group and we're starting to join alliances.  I feel so much better playing with them tho.  They're a lot of fun and always keep things... Interesting... lol for once I can be myself in a DND world! ha ha.  Hopefully Stephanie will start playing with us so I can have another girl playing with me!!! 


Other than that we're starting to move soon and I'm super excited!!! Love living here! At "Our House" defiantly a great place to be and great company!


Xoxo

Not in the mood!

Well today was a tiring and bumpy road.  Joel unfortunately didn't get the Sheriff Job.  Part of the physical you had to be able to have certain amount of flexibility and although Joel was .15 of an inch away they still wouldn't give it to him.  So when he got home he was depressed and wanted to sulk which I decided was not what he needed.  He needed to talk to his friends and family cause they know how to make people feel better (Its in their job description).  Then eventually he started to feel better and we went to church and hung out with a few good friends afterwards.  


Then Adam invited us to go to a backyard music bash over at a friends and so we went.  And at first it was fun listening to everyone and we dance a bit.  But then everyone it seemed HAD to smoke and I can't stand smoke nor smoking because my grandparents both died because they smoked.  So I never want to be around it and if I am it makes me sick.  


So here I am feeling sick and starting to realize that this is not my crowd of people.  They may be great people inside in and out but it was just way too overwhelming for me.  Too many people way too many convos and so I shut down.  I wanted to talk to Joel cause at least then I would tell someone how I was doing, but he was so busy BBQing and talking to all the ladies and gents that he never actually TALKed to me yes he Talked about me but its not that same at that time and place.  


And because of that I just started to get very irritated and angry so we finally left and I try to talk to Joel about it calmly cause I know he's tired and I don't want him to think I'm that mad.  And even tho I was about to burst... I knew I was being irrational but for his sake and mine I had to talk about it otherwise it'll build up and get worse.  So when I actually get around to talking to him he get mad at me.  Which makes it worst and then when I try to defend myself he starts falling asleep!!! UG!  How do I work with that!? So now I am too mad to go back and talk to him so I took my cat ad put some comfy clothes on and I'm sleeping on a comfy couch tonight. 


Worse thing is our anniversary is on Monday and I had being mad around this time.  But then again I just wanted to tell him how I was feeling and he just turned it around and made it about him... so idk... I guess we'll have to talk tomorrow. Today was not the best of days.


Although I did paint some more.  Its looking good =) 


Xoxo

Just an inch away from it all!

Well this coming Monday is Joel and My Anniversary!  One Whole Flippin' Year!!!!!!  Wow it went by so fast yet I felt like I've been with him much longer.  We have known each other now for 2 years which seems like such a long time in a short while.  But its true when your having fun time does fly!  These past 2 years have been the most roller coaster filled years of my life but in the end its making me stronger!  


Today is also Swing Lessons, we are going to be reviewing one last time on all that we've learned and then letting everyone dance and teaching them rhythm cause some of them do need it.  I think it'll be fun.  


My art project is coming along.  I got the basics down and I need to talk to my mom about it cause she's the master of the arts pretty much and she'll know if its a good idea or not.  I hope that it will be and then she'll show it to apple jack and maybe they'll sign me a contract so I can possibly paint and sell different but similar images of this.  I would post it but I'm pretty sure someone would probably try to steal my idea if I did.  SO I'll keep you posted on that one.  I should be seeing my family on labor day weekend cause my Aunts coming to town YAY!  So then I can show my mom the Actual idea and see what she thinks. 


Well other than being all dressed up and no where to go yet... idk what else there is... OH except that tomorrow Joel is taking his physical test for his sheriff job so please pray from him!  We have high hope for this job!!!  


OK that's it! Love Y'all!


Xoxo