Well I dyed my hair blonde today! Why? Because my husband told me he would love to see me blonde and because I really wanted to try something new to boost my confidence! It worked! This old spit fire is coming back to life!
Being home has made me feel a lot better. I like having my husband with me. And although its like a million degrees outside I can make do with the air conditioning inside!
My health has been getting somewhat better. I've been taking my medications so its been helping my blood pressure a lot. I have been getting bad body aches and headaches still but I'm okay if I don't do too much. I realized its only been a month since my C-section so of course not everything is back to normal. Good news though is that I've lost weight! Before I got pregnant I was 155 lbs. I gained 20 lbs during my pregnancy.. and lost its all once I had the baby. Now I lost 10 lbs lighter at 145! YAY! Can someone do a happy dance with me!
Things are good! I'm Blonde! Ahhh I can't believe I'm blonde! This is SWEET!
XOXO
I lost a friend this week. And not just any friend. He was my best friend. Bobby Alcorn was the most hilarious, crazy, always doing dumb stuff guy I have ever met! I met him when I was in 3rd grade. Course back then I thought he was a bully! It wasn't until 8th grade when I really started to be good friends with him. We rode the bus together every morning and afternoon. The only reason I started to talk to him was because he would stare at me... not just la de da stare... I mean STARE at me.. with his Gorgeous Baby Blue eyes widen and his mouth opened in a huge smile like manor... and would NOT STOP! This lasted for weeks.. no joke! I thought he was crazy! I was right... but then again so was I.
We ended up going to high school together and we went to cadet ball together. Probably one of my favorite dances besides prom! And every morning and afternoon we'd still hang out on the bus! When Senior year rolled by I had a class with him and sat next to him. That was when we started to become best buddies. And that's around the time I met my other best friend Kyle. Sarah and I had already been hanging out for practically our whole lives so when we all went to Grad Night together... it was the beginning of all four of our friendships combined as a group.
The following two years we hung out all the time. Making stupid videos, and taking hilarious pictures... baking cookies or brownies and playing twister. Or just watching dumb movies! Bobby even got me to break into CenterVille one night and jump the fence so we could play on the swings... lol but I cut my leg on the fence cause I got caught and got a narly scar from it... so now I will forever have Bobby with me... on my leg lol.
It seems really unfair to us all that he's gone. He didn't deserve to go so soon. I had so much to tell him. He didn't even get to meet my son. I had a letter all written out to send to him since he didn't have a phone... but since I didn't have his address I never got to send it... =/ I miss him.
We have so much history... now the "Foursome" will forever be a "Trio". I feel like this is all some sort of sick joke... like he's going to do to me like he did before and pretend to be hurt... and then show up on my driveway unharmed. The last time I saw him was the June before my wedding. So two years ago. I just wish I could have one last conversation with him.
I love you Bobby. We will miss you forever and laugh at all your lame jokes for eternity. May your memory be eternal.
Xoxo
Well it's been 2 weeks since I've had little Kyle and boy has it been a long 2 weeks at that. I had no idea what I was getting myself into I can say that for sure. But all the same I wouldn't change a thing. As you know my recovery hasn't been the smoothest but I think I'm starting to finally feel better. I can bend down and pick things up... my swelling from my infection is going down slowly, and my hormones are starting to level out.
Preparing myself to be a Mom is harder than I thought. Not sleeping much isn't that bad but the times when Kyle cries and I feel like no matter what I do he won't stop... that's when it gets tough. He is one wide eyed booger! He likes to hold onto his ears whenever he's frustrated. He LOVES tummy time with Daddy. He can't help but move his arms and legs when he's excited about eating. He tries so hard to stay up with us all day... but ends up getting cranky if he doesn't sleep.
I must say my favorite part about this SO FAR is when he's fussy with Joel or gets a shot and is just crying up a storm... all I have to do is hold him in my arms and talk to him.. tell him everything's going to be alright and he calms right down and falls asleep in my arms! I LOVE HIM!
My not so favorite part about all of this is my self doubt. My milk production has been pretty slow starting because he wasn't latching on because I was so HUGE. And because of that my doubts got the best of me and I just gave up breastfeeding for a week or so. I was still pumping but even that felt like a chore. I just felt like he didn't want me. I'm so glad I have Joel through all of this because he's been encouraging me and helping me through all this hormonal self doubt. I did start to BF again and he has been latching! But I think I have to do it more and still bottle feed because my supply isn't to the amount he needs yet. But I hope I get there.
Next week I leave to my parents for 2 weeks. I really want to go but Joel won't be going so I know I'll be crying a whole lot. I'll be with the baby every night which will make me VERY exhausted and I know I'll be faced with the challenge of patience with some family members. I just hope that everyone is supportive this time around. If I hear one negative thing about Joel, myself, or Kyle... I might just kick someone's @$$! Excuse my french!
Although these weeks have been tough, I can say that overall I'm happy. After all my self doubt, fear, and negativity I have toward myself has come and gone... at the end of the day I still have this Beautiful Baby Boy laying in my arms. Looking up at me with his adorable wide eyed look... and I can't help but fall hopelessly in Love with him all over again. He is my Son. <3
Xoxo
Well what's new... It's been a long but great week of being a Mom and getting used to taking care of Kyle. Recovering from a c-section is not easy. Sitting up, laying down, picking up Kyle, going to the bathroom, and even breathing, sneezing, and coughing is really hard to do. I thought that after a week of pain and recovering that I'd start to feel some relief and be able to do more things but not so much. My stomach started to get more sensitive to the touch and I have having daily severe headaches. Things just didn't feel right.
So yesterday called my doctor then went to the E.R. Waited there for 4 hours before finally getting called in and receiving a bed. Talked to the doctor and it turns out that I have a skin infection. Its called Cellulitis which is a common skin infection caused by bacteria. It does indeed hurt and is all over my stomach. On top of that my blood pressure is through the roof. Way to high. Which scares me cause that usually means there's something up with my kidneys. I don't have the best kidneys in the world but I hope they're healthy enough to get me passed all of this and more.
So that's where I am now at the very moment. I'm laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a IV for antibiotics,doing one of those 24 hour urine things and I have to have my tummy exposed to everyone cause it hurts even when my clothes lay against it now. Joel is laying beside me on a pull out bed passed out from working so much. Kyle is laying in a crib in front of me making little noises as he sleeps. It's nice that I have my boys here. Its a little tough to hold kyle cause of the IV in my arm. It beeps every time I bend my arm for too long.
This is pretty much just an update on how I'm doing. I, myself, am doing okay. A bit frustrated cause I thought I was done coming to the hospital. But I'm glad I listened to my instincts and got this taken care of before it got into my blood stream. Lets pray for a speedy recovery!
Xoxo
