Sarah Bearah!

So I got another Comment!!! Yay its from my best friend Sarah Cosentino.  And she said:

"Sarah said...
I'm jealous, I want to organize and decorate!
And I'm super psyched that you started your period! Lol"

Thanks Sarah I'm glad your as excited about my period as I am!  I knew you would completely understand! lol And when you get a house/apartment or some sort of shak to live in I will be excited for you to decorate it as well!  I will be there for you open house! 


On another note I had a conference call for Mary Kay and I think I might do it.  I like the thought of writing off my trips! And having make overs and fun things like that.  So we shall see how that works out!!! =D


XOXO 

A Healthy Life At Last

Okay so this weekend so far has been pretty good considering what I normally do.  Yesterday and today Bethany and I have been cleaning our friend Stephanie's house!  She is a wonderful person and has a huge heart but when it comes to her house it lacks the feeling of being a Home... or being a "Girls Home"  for that matter.  Bethany and I are very Chick savvy and know how to style rooms and houses so we are doing makeovers.  Stephanie would be know as a minor Hoarder.  She does collect and loose a lot of items and buys more just because.  But she admitted she needed help so I volunteered and so did Bethany to help her out as much as we can!  


A few weeks ago we cleaned most of her room... still have the closet and clothes to go thru!!!  And this weekend we're focusing on the kitchen.  Because we can tell that there is a horrible smell that needs to be dealt with.  So we are focusing all out energy on that!  I will take a picture today and post it tonight if I get a chance!  


On a different note my period started yesterday!!!!  I am so happy because my cycle got shorter!  It was at like 34+ days and now its about 30!  Which is where I expect it to be!  That means I am healthy and I'm ovulating normally and I can make babies whenever God says I can!  YAY!  But at this point I need some kind of sweet alcoholic beverage of some sort!  Too Much Stress! lol  I feel so much better already.  Course now I have the worst cramps ever hopefully the pain killers will numb the pain!  Well that's all for now... I'll let you know how our day turns out...


XOXO 

I'm going to Kill a Pirate!!! ARRRR

Wow has today been the most girly motivated PMS day ever!  Maybe this is TMI but I have been in a horrible mood.  Ladies you know why... I'm actually not in a bad mood any more but I sure was All afternoon.  And this is why:


Today I woke up and Joel and I were going to pick up his friend Big John and look at houses.  He's going to buy a house and we're probably going to rent one of his rooms. So thinking today was going to be so exciting and fun looking at amazing houses... NOPE! ha first we went to pick up John and he wanted to go eat.. and of course food is always good but then after we went to a thrift store... which again is actually pretty nice UNTIL the boys decided that Talking like a Freakin' "PIRATE" was the best idea in the World!  OMG!  


At first it was cute then it was a little too much... and after that it was just plain annoying!  So finally we get around to looking at houses just to find out that there is no open house... so looking like idiots we're looking inside these houses trying to figure out if they look nice while its like 110' degrees outside!  Heck No!  So I said I was super thirsty and instead of going to a gas station like any normal human being... NO we go to a flipping BAR!  And we get coke which was indeed nice.  So we eventually get out of there when the boys agree to do a little car work! No way!  I'm going to die


So we go to some kind of Hose place for AC and I didn't go inside so Joel decided to splash me with Water!  All over my shirt making my black bra visible for everyone and there blind bird to see me!  So of course by now I'm seething so I text my friend Sara Romano and ask her to save me... but by that time they got me to the tire shop... which I sat there quietly until John told Joel to come over to see something awesome... and Joel of course pulled me along only to see a half naked chick on a wheel chair on the wall.  GROSS!  So by that time I was ready to tear someone's head off... all because of my stupid PMS and these Darn boys... and of course once we get in that car... John and Joel are STILL talking like Flipping Pirates!  And then finally Sara found me and saved me!  


So yes today was an interesting day of tolerance! 


xoxo

A Girl So Fair - The Proposal

An old friend was talking to me yesterday asking about how Joel proposed to me.  And instead of just telling her because there are so many details I decided to write about that.


Joel and I had only been dating a month maybe less before we realized we were going to marry each other.  Almost like it was meant to be.  So we talked about the future and he had asked me "Does it matter how I propose to you?"  And of course I was excited about the words Propose! I told him to do whatever he wanted to do was fine with me but the only catch was that he had to ask my Dad for my hand in Marriage!  

My Amazing Parents


So naturally Joel and I drive up to see my parents and my Dad and Joel are talking and apparently my Dad just kept on talking and talking but when it came down to the wire he never said Yes and he never said No.  So Joel said... okay well he didn't say no... I'm going to propose then! lol 


Throughout the whole month of October we had been rehearsing a story for Joel's "Mr Lumber-Jack Pageant" that was put on but NAU. Basically men of all shapes ad sizes competed in 3 categories 1. Muscles 2. Talent 3. Q & A.  Joel was contestant 12 which was the last guy to go up in all the categories and it was also FREEZING outside!  And of course I was wearing a white dress and flip flops because of Joel's talent.  

Joel and his Brother Adam at the Pageant before the Proposal


So Joel goes up for his talent and we got through the whole skit of how he got his hat and then it was over; well that's what I thought.  I was about to walk off stage when Joel says something and I had no idea what I was supposed to do or say "Did I forget something in the skit" was my thought... then Joel gets down on one knee Pulls out a ring and asks if I'd marry him!  The crowd was so loud that I couldn't say anything... but I melted into his arms.  

I said yes <3


Also on a side not my parents were there and they told me later that they were oblivious to what was going on.  But as I rushed off stage a huge group of friends were there to congratulate us and it was one of my happiest days of my life!  I love my Joelly Bear =) 


There is a Video of this spectacular event on YouTube the site is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ayDdSQMlU0

xoxo 

True Love

Well I thought that now would be the perfect time to tell you about my husband and how we met.  


I'm recently from Sanger, CA where I grew up and went to school.  My parents decided that they were going to move to AZ to take care of my Grandparents and wanted me to go to NAU and put some change in my life.  I was not looking forward to that.  But I eventually agreed to stay out there for a year and if I hated AZ I would move back to Cali.  That was until I met Joel Nixon. 

                                              My Family


To say the least Joel is a pretty funny yet odd guy.  The first time we met I had just got to Flagstaff and made a new friend (Donnelly) who invited me to go to "Dancing at the Square" And I said yes mainly because I wanted to make friends possible meet some guys too.  So I get picked up by Donnelly and she's driving this beat up Honda named "Amber" and it was Joel's car... yup... had tons of dents, ducked taped window, and garbage everywhere! Gross!  I thought whoever owned this car must be gross... ha ha


I get to the Downtown Square and Joel is already there wearing cummerbunds and a top hat just dancing away.  Never meeting him before I thought "Ooo He's Cute!"  He say me and after the song he walked up introduced himself as "Indiana Joel" and asked me to dance... I tried to keep up with him but the way he thinks is like trying to listen to 100 different conversations... its just intense!  Later after dancing we talked and he called me Vanessa and tried to play it off like he wasn't being a jerk... ha and he later told me that he thought I was cute but thought I was 17 when I was really 20.  


But after that night we'd hang out and go to BMN and just be friends.  Until one night I saw Joel talking after dancing and he asked if I and this other guy wanted to go watch a movie at his place I said sure and the other dude bailed.  We ended up watching "Princess Bride" and we're cuddling while watching the movie.  Then out of the blue we kissed... And even tho I just met him maybe 1 or 2 months before we kissed the chemistry was there and there was a feeling of excitement afterwards.  Then he decided to ask me out on a date to see "District 9" which was an interesting date movie and on his B-day Aug 26 he asked me to be his Girlfriend.  

                                          Fair 2009 


From that day on we've been in love.  He Proposed to me in Oct and we got married a year later.  And coming around the bin its going to be our 1 yr anniversary and I'm super excited about it! August 22 is our anniversary!!!  But yes that's basically the story of us... there's a few other details I left out but only because I would have to write a book to get it all down! lol 

                                           Our Proposal 


xoxo

Amazing Day... Funny how things Change

Today has been the most amazing day!  My husband and I got a little alone time this morning and went out to eat breakfast and did married couple things together!  He went to the grocery store with me to get some food for my Mary Kay party that was today!  When we got home my friend Lexa and I made the most amazing Cucumber Sandwiches and some Tuna Sandwiches as well.  All was good and Yummy! We actually had a good number of people come which was nice.  I also has my husband get a manly facial which was nice!  He's Cute!  It was nice to have some girl time too!  We did the make over part which personally is my FAVORITE!  Thank goodness my friends like make up as much as I do otherwise I would go crazy =P 

             My Makeover

 After we were done having fun, Bethany and I hung out for a while and went to walmart to get Joel's gift I would tell you what it is... but I'm afraid he'll read this or someone else will tell him.  Maybe I'll tell you... we'll see... 


Anyways yeah we then went to Michael's place and had BMN and watched a HORRIBLE movie!  One that practically made no sense which made the night even more awesome.  And then I got to catch up with everyone and idk... I guess I'm finally realizing that  I actually like it here. I love my friends, my new family, and altho it is hot and I would like to have our own place its actually quite alright.  Its funny how things change once you stop fighting it... I used to Hate it here... not that I didn't like my friends and family... just because I missed my other friends including my Best Friend!  And I still do... no one nor nothing could replace her!  She is my Cheese in my Mac N Cheese =) Yes Sarah Marie Cosentino I'm talking about you... now somebody please stalk her ;) ha jk.  

                                                     This is my Bestie Sarah and myself!

I still feel the need to get pregnant but I'm coming to terms with just letting thing fall into place.  I'm obviously meant to have a little fun before I become a full-time Mother so why not just go with the flow instead of rushing something that should come when everything is ready.  I'm loving my life and still missing my old life.  But I do love my life again finally.  


Oh I forgot to say that I might become a Mary Kay consultant which would be fun!  Get tax right offs and such.  I love Mary Kay Products so I think I would be super excited about doing make overs with all my friends.  Its defiantly a path I'm thinking about going... am I ready to take it... 

O Happy Days

So sorry I didn't write anything yesterday I had the most compact day ever!  First it was Joel and My 11 month anniversary! So we played the Wii together!  It was fun! Then I had to work at the office and got a bunch of things finished.  Then after that I went to a little cousin's b-day party at Peter Piper Pizza and gave her a present. Then had swing dancing and that was a blast.  We taught the very basic and a turn and then a dip.  Everyone was learning quite fast.  We just need more boys to come and be men!  Then after Swing was done we went over to David and Sarah's place and hung out with them.  Again I will say it... its nice to have a married couple to hang with...  its so much nicer! Not to mention our husbands act the same... so its nice that someone else feels my pain/love for the man. ha ha. 


We watched the show Dexter which must I say is intriguing and gross/weird! It defiantly draws your attention because its so different but at the same time you disagree with all the morals... yet you can't look away!  I'm sure we'll be watching it again soon.  Probably next week we'll have a dinner date!  It should be fun!  Which reminds me I need to look up a easy recipe with a Baked Potato because I absolutely love Baked Potatoes =) 


Well its the next morning and I'm feeling refreshed and content.  I'm probably going to start reading my book again in a bit.  I'm reading the Guardian by Nicholas Sparks.  Its pretty intriguing.  I like to picture myself as the main girl to make i more personal and like I'm in the book... and right now that lead man that's good is Jake Gyllenhual because if my husband really did pass from a brain tumor I would defiantly want Jake to comfort me =) I don't know who the bad guy is yet.  Richard is the bad guys name... maybe he should be bradley copper like Sarah Cosentino said?!  Hummmm we'll see... Anyways I'm signing out...


xoxo

Just another Mellow Jello Day

So far today is off to a good start!  I'm spending some quality time with my husband and we ended up playing Lego Indiana Jones Wii which I love to play especially with Joel! I had some POPS cereal which was so good!  Been so long since I've had any of it. We're probably going to practice swing dancing today cause we're starting lessons tomorrow for our church and friends.  Its free we just accept donations for the church.  Did I tell you how Joel and I met... maybe in my next Blog I'll write about it... its a pretty fun story to tell!


Other than that today is pretty mellow and relaxing.  Probably going to start the horrible cycle of Laundry today! Seems like it consumes my whole day once it starts!  But its worth having clean clothes afterwards.  Also going to clean the room and hum...


Oh and I finally had the courage to stop tracking my ovulation and periods.  Mainly because I tend to stress out way too much over it then I should and now that I know I am healthy and do ovulate I know that I'll be okay without tracking it for a while.  So I'm steering clear of it... we'll see how long this lasts.


xoxo

Reasons for my madness at times

Hello today has been a fun yet mellow day!  I've been hanging out with my friend Bethany today playing with eye shadows and eating cinnamon buns which were delicious BTW! Oh I got a comment which I am personally excited about because I didn't think anyone actually read my stuff. So I thought I would answer back just because it means a lot to explain my process of thinking and I take all that people say to heart.  So here's the comment:

 "Stephanie Says: I have friends who have been trying for years and still aren't there. In my opinion, you need top stop stressing about it (I know, easier said than done) and not think about it so much. I think it's like love, it'll hit you when you least expect it. My husband and I plan to start trying next month, we've been putting it off b/c we aren't in a place (career and financially) that we felt comfortable bringing a child into the world. But now we just hope that if we work as hard as we can, the Lord will provide and things will be forced to work themselves out. Continue to have faith! And know you have a lot of people who care about you!"

Okay so my answer is:  Thanks so much for giving me your advice I appreciate it.  I know what you mean about stressing out about all of this Baby Non-sense.  And I'm coming to terms with just letting things happen when its meant to happen.  But for me its a process... after being both depressed and out of place in my life clinging to having a baby was all I had.  Which I'm realizing wasn't the best choice cause I DID get very into the whole tracking everything and etc. This month for some reason or another I finally let God in and He opened my eyes to the whole picture.  I know why I haven't had a child yet and I know what I need to work on to get my life back on track.  Sometimes more than others I still feel the grief for loosing a child that couldn't been in my arms by now.  Which is why I go into the whole rants in life... but its just rants and after its out in the open I feel better and it doesn't always mean its true. 


 Thanks so much for helping me tho I know me and some other woman just can't help but get obsessed with having a little one.  Your want it so bad it hurts... but right now I'm going to focus on school and possibly getting a job.  Getting my art going and most of all spending One-On-One time with my husband because once we have a baby there's no going back for us =) 


xoxo

Emotions getting the best of both worlds

As I'm eating my Lovely bowl of Oatmeal my husband made for me.. I think about everything that has happened in my life and I realize I am Lucky! I have a great husband, I live rent free with his parents, I have a family that loves me, friends that I can count on whether their in AZ or CA, and I do have a place in the world I've just been too afraid to approach it.  Its time for me to shine and show the world who I really am.  I'm really getting there just battling my own self-image and self-esteem!  If you a guy you have no idea how emotional a girls life gets.  Its mostly hormones... but we have a lot of responsibilities on our plates.  For instance:  What if your husband really wants a baby and for some reason the girl can't get pregnant!  Its a toll!  In most girls minds its a low blow and makes us feel responsible for not giving you what you want!  Then we're convinced there is something wrong with us and we get stressed out and no matter how hard we try... we truly resent ourselves.  We girls are Fragile!  I'm not trying to bag on boys and my husband has never made me feel that way... I'm just letting you know how I feel even if I have a wonderful husband... we're still going to think its our fault! 


Now that my little rant is somewhat over I can focus on what a great day I had yesterday!  I spent the day with Sara and we talked for a long time and went swimming and talked some more!  It was nice to be out with someone who was also married and understood practically everything I was going thru!  Its nice to have friends again! =) 


xoxo

Its raining Cats and Chickens?!

So I have to add what I did this evening only because I am proud of myself and I want to gloat! After working at the office I ran home which is only like 2 mins from out house and it started POURING Rain and I got SOAKED!  Dried off and watch a few shows then I looked outside and decided that it was a nice day and I need to go outside for a jog... so I did... I jogged around the church a few times and did crunches!  It felt good! 


After that I went to Chick-Fil-A and had some food cause 20% of the cost goes to our church youth.  It was good to hang out with friends.  Our new friends David and Sara showed up and we chatted up a storm!  Then Joel came home and we went to the church and played Ping Pong!  It was fun running around and hanging out!  I love my Husband!  He sure does make me feel special and like I'm the only girl in the world!  Well I'm going to now watch a movie with my Hubbs and then sleep... Night!


xoxo

It Keeps Getting Better

So I forgot to mention the past couple days that the Ovulation predictor kit I've been using to see if/when I ovulate worked!!! Which means I'm finally healthy enough to let this all go into God's hands and let him take control!  So from this day one I'm hoping that my life will get even better!  I will get healthy, happy, and outgoing!  Finally!  One Door closes in my life and another is opening.


Yesterday was an awesome day!  It was BMN (Bad Movie Night) and we watched the amazing movie MST3K: "Space Mutiny" and it was hilarious!  We had a lot of people show up which was awesome!  And Joel's Best Friend Kate and Sammy (Twins) were there =) Kate lives in Holland and Sammy is in Flagstaff so we don't get to see them too much.  We are all planning a Surprise B-day Party for him cause he deserves it and I really want to surprise him.


Today is a Mellow Jello kinda day.  I'm at the office trying to stay focused and work... its not working... lol Course I could have this random burst of energy from the Chocolate Chip Pancakes Joel game me =P Yes I think it is! ha


Oh yeah so this UPS Man comes to the office and I talk to him briefly and sign for the package... and then before he hands me the package he's like "You got this...?" and I was like "heck yes" because the package is so tiny! And then he drops it in my hands to see what I do... and not kidding this tiny package weights like 25 maybe 30 pounds at the least... I literally almost fell over!  I'm sure that UPS Man was Chuckling at me in his head! 


Well I guess I better get to work so I can go over to my new friend Sara's place tomorrow! Yay! =)


Love,
Jen


xoxo

Multiplying like Rabbits

So I forgot to add the somewhat funny/ ridiculous situation I got myself into yesterday while I was working at the church office.  So here I am putting together the church bulletin and I finally get the insert of the bulletin done and need to make 90 copies  Well while not even thinking about it... I stuck 2 inserts and copied 90 each... without realizing that I only needed one copied 90 times not 2!  So I ended up making over 150 copies... I just starred at the stack and thought... this does not look right?  What did I do?  And then put all together in my head that I defiantly multiplied my copies by 2!  So I had to recycle the rest of the Multiplied! Boy does that make me feel... very ... humorous!

Joel and I also stayed up late last night tickling each other and making fun of one another!  It was a lot of fun until we realized it was 1am and we had to get up at 6am... which if you fast-forward a bit... we didn't wake up to our alarm and woke up at 9am Oops ha ha.  And now I'm just about to head out and clean a good friend of mine's room!  So I'm off to be Mrs. Clean for the day! =D

Emotional Healing Rollar Coaster that Never Ends... Or does it...

So even though I had kind of a weird day yesterday it actually turned out pretty good at the end.  My good friend was concerned about me and thinks I should go to a doctor to get my emotional problems checked out.  Which is actually a good idea seeing that I've been fairly depressed some days and fine the next.  So much has happened in 2 years that I don't think I've caught up to myself.  I've gained weight which makes me feel very crappy and since loosing a baby I've been very emotional about everything.  As much as I try to move on with my life and get in shape, get a job, and make friends... in just one day it all crumbles.  All my hard work of trying to stay positive is lost because of my insecurities and my fear of being judged or disliked.  It used to never be this bad but now I'm afraid of everything it seems.  But ME the person I really am isn't afraid to be somebody and be noticed... i just have no idea what is wrong with me. 

Yesterday I caught myself packing EVEY THING in the house because I convinced myself that the faster I get things done the faster the moving process will come and maybe... just maybe... I can be better and like myself again and then maybe God can see that I am a good person and that I would make a wonderful Mom.  And that I'm ready for the commitment of a child!  I am Sooo Ready for it! But Who am I kidding... God knows me better than I do... only He knows. 

On a Brighter Note I saw the last Harry Potter Last night!  For not really being into the whole books and fanatics it was actually quite enjoyable!  It was the midnight showing so it was a lot of fun... but Joel and I were so tired... lol way past our bed time!  But I got to dress up all pretty so that made me happy =) But all is good right now!  Just hoping for me to heal so I can be a better person...

Moving Day... nope not even close...

Such a long day today!  I decided that I hate waiting to move so I convinced myself that if I packed up a lot of stuff that moving would come a lot faster... I was wrong... I still have to wait... bleh! Now I have all these boxes around our small room and I have no where to put them!  Ain't I the smart one today! ha! I always realized that we do have a lot of stuff... maybe more than I remember!  Thank goodness we're not moving too far otherwise I would be freaking out even more!

I also talked to an Old old PenPal today!  We used to talk back when I was in High School and she was in middle school going into High school.  She lived in Maine and I lived in California.  She was and still is an amazing writer!  I've never read anything like it before which is good!  I'm good at short stories mainly.  I have to post my funny short story on here so ya'll can enjoy!

Yesterday we also looked at Puppies in the Mall and I found out that I have a weakness for Beagles and I want one!  They're sooooooo cute!  Someday we will get one I hope! Well other than packing and talking to some friends, I am Famished! And Exhausted!  Our room looks like a disaster zone! And I still have lots of Laundry to get done! On a brighter note I'm loving life.  My husband is nothing but amazing and I'm super excited to see him when he gets home! =D Good nite! 

Faces of new and old

So after almost choking to death on Rice and Stew I decided that I wanted to write more. Joel got done with his interview he said that it went really well and they'll be contacting him in about a week or so! I really hope he gets the job his current job consists of answering the phone, taking payments, lying about everything, and sitting down and letting people yell at him for their own reasons.  Sounds quite lovely if you ask me!


So we met this new couple a few weeks ago Dave and Sara; they a very nice and fun couple.  Today we were texting and found out that we have a butt-load in common!  Which is nice to have here.  Its really hard to find married couples in the mid 20's that have morals and are Christians.  Its really tough to find a couples with all those traits that you actually both get along with too.  We've probably lived here for about 10 months or so and also we have friends here its not the same when they're not married.  There's a different maturity level of understanding. 


I also got to talk to my bestie Sarah Marie Cosentino ha (She insisted on me saying her full name on here)!  She and I have been friends since 2 nd grade if you can believe it.  We're practically sisters.  She lives in Cali and I live in AZ its like romeo and Juliet except friend wise and we don't die ha ha.  But it was nice to talk to her and wish he a happy belated birthday.  And also talk about how PATRIOTIC we both were on the 4th of July! (inside joke) ! I really do miss California =)

Hair cuts and the toilet

Well let me tell you about last night! ha My good friend Bethany and I went to a hair salon called Regis and we got her this amazing A-line hair cut!  It was cute!  And those salon-ist were so amazing.  Like most places we go to the girl/guy just does what this picture looks like, but no this person did a GREAT job and told us that this is how we should do it!  So I am defiantly going back to that place to get my hair redone!  Safe to say no real horrible dreams last night (Thank you Goodness).  

Last night was also BMN also know for Bad Movie Night.  We watched Class of 1999!  And wow that was such a bad movie! Then I pigged out on Crab Puffs cause they're some yummy and were homemade, but to my luck I got sick from one of them. Came home and felt absolutely Nauseous and just started to heave and hoe... it was delightful (Sarcasm) lol.  Then when I was done I realized that I didn't eat much today so that was my bad.

On to this morning, I woke up feeling still queasy but much better.  I'm probably going to make myself some cream of wheat and go to my office job next door.  Joel has a job interview today so we're crossing our fingers for that!!! And I'm going to call my best friend Sarah today cause I miss her and she lives in cali =( Well back to the real world I guess... talk to you later!

Dream a little dream

Last night was a very weird night.  I had a dream that I was with another man which if you know me... does not sound like me.  When I woke up I felt really upset because the other man was my old BF and I just didn't expect to react so weird about it I guess.  It seems like the more I sleep the more bizarre my dreams get.  So I told my husband and like a great man that he is said it was just a dream and he knows that I would never do anything like that.  I love my husband more than anything and I know he's right so I'm planning to ignore it for now.  My bestie said that if I dream about him more than once in a row then I have a problem.  So I guess we'll see what tomorrow has to bring us lol.

On a different note... I got one of those Ovulation predictor kits like my doctor said to do. Since my Miscarriage in Dec my cycles have been way off so this month I'm going to use the predictor kit to see if I'm even ovulating anymore.  And if I am I will stop stressing about my body and just let it do what it wants.  So Fingers Crossed!  Today I took the first test and it was a Neg but there was a little tint which I hope means its coming soon!!! Hopefully after this I will be on my way to becoming a Mom!    

Diary Of a Wannabe Mom- Intro

So I thought Long and hard about this Blog and I figured why not.  If no one reads it then its just another way to get my frustrations out =).  Let me tell you alittle about myself:

My Name is Jennifer Nixon, I live in Tucson AZ with my husband Joel.  We just got married in Aug 2010 so it'll almost be a year.  I am an aspiring artist and mother.  I am 22 on the verge of 23 at the end of the year and I have 3 cats.  Right now we're living with my husband's parents... and at first it was a little tough and weird just because we didn't know eachother that well.  But I feel a lot better living with them now then I would my own parents.  Not that my parents are that bad, they just love to smother their only baby girl.  I am the youngest of 3 kids.  I have 2 older brother who are both annoying and wonderful. My husband Joel has 3 brothers and one sister and they're all so great to have around. 

 After Joel and I got married we decided that birth control was out of the question.  Cause unless it was mandatory we  wern't going to use it.  Our motto "God knows when we're ready so lets just see what happens" lol.  So that's what we did, I found out that I was pregnant in December that same year and I told my family on christmas day cause we were so excited about it.  But as fast as it came the faster it went and I soon realized that I was miscarrying already on Christmas Day.  It really hurt us both emotionally.  It took me a few months to really get over it.  We decided that we would name him Nicolas after St. Nicolas.  And we're hoping that in heaven we'll get to meet him and hold him in our arms for the first time.  The doctor said that sometimes to young couples it just happens, no ryhme or reason it just happens.  So from that day on I was really focused on having kids mainly because I've been so depressed about my situations and life.  And not having any friends to share my problems with.  So I stopped everything in my life and just focused on BABIES... lol that was until about 2 weeks ago.

  I realized that God didn't think I could handle a baby, not until I could handle myself.  So I got myself a haircut and decided to change my attitude and do something with my life.  And thats why I'm writing this blog so I can hold myself accountable for my actions both good and bad! So I'm finding a job and exercising more and getting more involved so I can do more in my life.  Hopefully making changes in my life and getting myself back on track will get me ready and prepared to have a child.  I'm so excited about being a Mom and Joel is so excited about being a Dad so I guess we'll see what the future has in store. There is more to come with this story so stay tuned =) Love,

A wannabe Mom

Jennifer