Struggles and Forgiveness

As we grow up and meet that special someone and have babies.. you don't really think too much about how much you'll change, how much you may or may not loose yourself, and how it can effect you in both a positive and for others a negative way.  I've been trying to live up to the expectations of my husband, son, parents etc... not that there's anything wrong with that... I like a good challenge.  But lately I've been getting so wrapped up in being a good Mom and Wife that sometimes I do forget about myself.  Which is why I'm starting to craft things here and there.

Having a baby in itself is hard work.  People tell you your life is going to change.. yada yada... but honestly you don't really get it until you've either had your own child or took care of a child full-time.  I now find myself saying... "I need more energy," "Where has the time gone," and my favorite "If I knew then what I knew now." LOL.

Joel is so amazing.  Like all marriages we argue a bit... but we set rules and boundaries when we do argue so no one gets their feelings hurt intentionally, and we Must Talk about what's bothering us and at the end of of discussion we must FORGIVE each other.  It's very rare that I see couples actually Forgive each other.  I hear the words "It's okay" a lot though.  Which when you think about it is the worst thing you could say at the end of a argument!

EX.  Husband, "Sorry honey for calling you the B word..."

  Wife, "It's Okay."

Oh heck no... it's not okay that you called me that but like Jesus says... when you confess your sins to me you are Forgiven.  Which in other words When you say "It's okay" It's likely that its either going to happen again or that person will bring it up in a different fight.  But when you forgive someone, that's saying it wont happen again it's completely forgotten.

It's hard but it's the best way to show your significant other that you trust them.

Anyways, I love my family both near and far!  I just never knew how hard it was going to be to do it all.  But thank the Lord that he made me a strong, intelligent woman because I know I can do this.

I feel like I have so much to say but its so hard to put it all in words.  Or even word it correctly.  My mind is constantly going when Joel is working nights.  I usually try to get my mind tired so I can call asleep but for some reason I just don't feel like sleeping.  Don't get me wrong I'm exhausted but sleeping is somehow not on my mind!  Well if you happen to read this tonight and you feel the same way give me a whistle on my facebook or even text me for those who know me =) Or better yet download the APP VOXING!!! Its like a walkie talkie! I Love it!

Well if I feel restless in a hour I might post again =P

Xoxo

Project 2: Coffee Jar Project

So I was getting tired of having an ugly coffee bad on the counter all the time and decided to do something about it finally!  I was making lunch the other day for Joel and myself and ended up using up all our pickles.  I looked at the jar... and a Light Bulb went off! COFFEE! So I grabbed a bunch of fitting supplies and went at it.

 Most of my supplies laid out around the table!

I made a seam like hatching with the fabric to give the side an interesting look!

 Was actually trying to iron this onto my fabric but realized I needed Freeze Paper and not Wax paper... but I quickly came up with a different idea!  I glued the wax paper onto the fabric.

 Folded some fabric around the rim of the lid... then cute off the scraps surrounding it!

 Now that that part is done.  It's time for the finishing touches!

 I found some old flowers I used to sick in my hair as a kid and tied a bow with some scrap ribbon material.

 Then for the lid a made an abstract version of both Joel and My initials "J"N" =)

 For some reason it wont let me flip the picture but here is the finished project with the coffee beans inside! Waaa...Laaa!

And that is my Lovely Coffee Bean Jar =) 

Xoxo

A little bit of Closure

Today was a rough day for me.  Just recently a member of our church passed away.  He was an older gentleman and he had heart problems but he had a wonderful heart and was always so generous and charming.  Today was his funeral.  Once I walked into the church my heart dropped.  Realization hit me.. I hadn't been to a funeral since Bobby passed away.  I never had to think about missing his funeral or even his last few days... until now.  I felt like the whole experience of this funeral was a reenactment of Bobby's funeral.  Flashes and images of him flooded my mind and his voice whispered in my ear.

He was my walking partner in Graduation! <3 

As I walked up to our beloved Church Member, the image of Bobby popped in my mind.  I couldn't help but cry.  I was mourning two lost souls.  Even all the way to the grave sight and during the burial images of what I imagined Bobby's funeral flashed into my mind... even him in his Captain America costume!  I didn't understand what was going on and why this was happening... until I heard his voice say... "Now you can have some closure Jen." 

My Fave pic of us!

I got this peaceful feeling, that he was there with me.  He knew I cared for him and missed him and wished with all my heart and soul that I was with him during his last moments and the day we laid him to rest.  I felt like that didn't matter to him but he knew it mattered to me... so in a way he let me have it.

I miss him everyday that he is gone.  It's weird, when I cry because I miss him or pray cause I want to hear his voice... something weird happens just about every time.  At some point I'll get this overwhelming feeling like he's here with me and he's giving me this enormous hug calling me silly names.. and then there are times when I'm really really upset and I have so many doubts and questions and some concerns about his well being...  then he appears to me in my dreams.  (I heard once that Angels can only appear to you in dreams because they're in heaven and not on earth)  And in my dreams he looks perfect.  And his voice is peaceful.. and most of the time he answers my questions.  And other times he's just there with me... hanging out... 

My Best Friends =)

I'm probably nuts for thinking this but I truly believe he's there... that he's with me in my dreams.  I get that feeling that I normally got when he would walked into a room... when I'd yell out loud when I saw him...
 "BOBBY!" 

I Love That Kid.  <3 

RIP Bobby Alcorn 

Xoxo

Pushing On..

Lately I haven't been feeling up to par.  I thought it was something temporary but as time passes the worse I seem to be feeling.  Which seriously sucks cause: 1. I don't have health insurance and 2. I was just starting to get into a good routine of cooking for Joel and watching Kyle and also doing what I've been wanting to do.  So I must wait to either feel worse or to get better or to even wait to get insurance again.  I'm a little worried because I've been nauseous and dizzy.  I know I'm not pregnant... but I don't know what else it could be.  My back pain just seems to get worse.. =/

But I've been trying to give myself a Pep talk.  A good mother/wife is able to be sick and take care of her family for most of the time even when she feels like crap.  So I'm going to try and do just that.  Put on a smiling face and tough it out.  Course Joel can read me like a book so I have a feeling that he'll still offer to do things and ask me how I'm feeling... so there's no faking it with him.

Tonight I did manage to make some JELLO Cupcakes! LOL I have never made JELLO cupcakes before so this will be my first but it was indeed an experience! They're for Halloween really.  But I put some red food coloring in them as well to look awesome... so I'll take a pic of them tomorrow after they've set a bit.

Xoxo

Hawawini Day Update | The Cracker Bandit

It has only been a couple days and already time has flown in my eyes!  The Hawawini Day was a Success!  Kyle looked amazingly cute in his getup and I am one proud Mama! Although during the time of the costume contest he was very tired and cranky and just wanted Mama... so he cried until he fell asleep in my arms.  Lately he's been going so much that he just exhausts himself until he can't go anymore and falls asleep awkwardly LOL! 

The Onesie I made for Kyle

His whole Getup! SO CUTE!

The Cleansed Leper and Archangel Michael hanging out! 

Sleepy Baby

I am the Woman at the Well Photina

Kyle fell asleep like this... on Joel's knee playing horsey!

Peaceful Slumber 

Today was actually a real fun day as well!  I started my new job as a "Secret Shopper!" It's a lot of fun.  It's like being a secret agent or something... we have to make a convincing story and ask questions and just be observant!  It's a perfect career for me Bah!  Watch out shops here I come! 

Depending on whether we stay here or move we're going to join a gym... we actually got a 30 day free pass to go to the LA| Fitness Gym!  And most of my friends know how much I TRULY LOVE FREE STUFF!!! It's hereditary! Both my grandparents LOVE free stuff too! I remember numerous occasions where both of my grandmothers see candies in baskets in front of a restaurant... and we'd all take one maybe two... my grandmothers would take... Oooo Dare I say... a HANDFUL!  I don't mean like five or six... I mean a REAL handful!  LOL So as I grew up I learned from them and became the "Cracker Bandit!"

Sounds crazy and made up but it was a real thing.  Every restaurant I'd go to I'd take all those crackers in that basket they'd bring with the salads... I'd stuff my purse full of them!  Just in case I ever got hungry =) . Since then... I've never gone back! LOL Course now my "Poison" is Thrift Stores!  They are addicting, cheap, and full of long lost treasures just waiting to found and fixed up!  

Fell asleep in my arms!

XOXO 

Saint-Raphael Hawawini Day is upon us!

It's the beginning of a new day and I can't sleep.. so blogging only seems natural for one trying to get tired in the brain! Today or better yet yesterday was a good day.  I got a break from Kyle and got to catch up on missed "Zzzz's" then made breakfast and just took care of my little growing family.  Kyle ate in a High Chair for the first time today! He actually wanted to eat the rice cereal! It was adorable yet sad because my little man is growing up!

Tomorrow is our Church's celebration for Halloween except it's called "St Raphael" day or what I would like to call "Hawawini Day" which is an actual Saint's name!  The kids dress up as bible characters and they do contests and games and eat candy!  This year Joel was in charge of the games... and of course we both forgot to think of any until the night before!  So I decided with my quick sharp mind to get a small scavenger hunt going for the kids!  They'd love it! So here I am making this thing and Joel helped come up with a few clues and then he fell asleep! lol! That man can sleep through anything!

He actually talks in his sleep! Bah! Just a moment ago he woke up slightly trying to make up a clue for me.. even tho we were done... lol I just laugh and start asking him bizarre questions until he gets "Sleepy Mad" and goes back to sleep! It's fun!

Anyways, this year is the first year Joel and I have had a BABY to DRESS UP!  Wait... let me rephrase that.... : This year is the First Year I GET TO DRESS UP A BABY! Bah! My dream come true! LOL So this year he is Archangel Michael!  I decorated a onesie myself and found wings and even a red cape!  Its So Awesome....oh wait he even has a tiny sword! I am literally spazing with Joy!  I will update with pictures as soon as they are taken!

His so far outfit I made! It's pretty awesome!

Way out on left field of topics, Joel and I are on the fence with moving.  It's either stay in Tucson for another year and a half... or move to payson and start all over.  I am so torn!  It sucks cause I really don't have many friends here in Tucson.  I mean I used to... but being married and now having a baby really makes it tough... I feel like girls are afraid of me... maybe having babies is contagious to them or something... course it's also my fault for not having any time!  The only time I can really get out is usually when someone has to pick me up... and even then there's a 70%  chance Kyle is with me... which I don't mind.  But some people do.

But I love my church and it is a nice place here although the weather sucks.  Idk I guess I have to really think about this more.  I've been stressing out in my mind over moving again... and wondering where we are moving to!

I guess I will have to think about it more.  Oh! I made Homemade Caramel today! It was Soooo delicious!

Recipe:

EASY HOMEMADE CARAMEL DIP 

1 C. brown Sugar

1 stick Butter

1/2 C. light corn syrup

1 -14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk 
(if you'd like to cut back on the sugar amount, click here for the recipe for my homemade Sweetened condensed milk made with xylitol or splenda...it does have to set overnight)

Place all the ingredients in a medium saucepan, over medium-high heat.  Stir constantly,

until all the butter has melted and the brown sugar has dissolved. 

Boil for 2 minutes.

That's it.  Let it cool to room temp and enjoy with apples or pretzels. 

It sets up more when it's refrigerated, so I just heat it up for about 30 seconds and it's ready to be enjoyed. 

Serve with sliced Fruit, or as a

Delicious as an Ice Cream topping.... Store in refrigerator up to 4 weeks.
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Anyways! Life is good and so is this caramel! Enjoy and I will post soon! God Bless us everyone! =P

Xoxo

Project 1: The Mason Jar

Yes like I said before I have a "Project Folder"  it's more like a notebook but nonetheless it's full of fun ideas! Once of my ideas had to do with a mason jar I found at a thrift store for about 3 bucks. I've been wanting to find cute jars to either decorate of flaunt its characteristics on its own and put it in my kitchen.  Since the Mason jar I found wasn't all the special I decided to crazy it up a bit by adding fabric bows and a few fake flowers! 

My Folder

I had to use some silicone sealant so it would be air tight when I put food inside. 

Whatever ribbons or yarn you want to use.

A hot glue gun will do the job nicely!

some decoration never hurts

Pick out some really cute fabric

cut it into shreds.. in this case I tore it along the seams but cutting might be easier for some other fabrics

Start hot gluing it on!

Put one slightly on top of the other

Its coming along!

Looks AMAZING!

Now for the top I decided to be more creative and cut my scraps up into squares.

Glued them on top.

I put a ribbon along the top crease.

Added my Decor!

And wrote "FLOUR" on it! Ta-Da!

It was a fun project! Feel free to take some ideas from my experience!  Its fun!

Kyle is all tuckered out! lol

Xoxo

I'm back

Well I tried using the other site for my blog but for some reason its just not as exciting.  I don't understand where everything is and I think I want to just stick with my simpler blog instead!  So unless I find something easier and awesome-er you're stuck with me!

What's new:

Kyle:

Kyle is currently turning 5 months in a week.  He is babbling and actually he's squealing when he demands attention! He can now roll onto his tummy and back onto his back all by himself.  There are times when I leave him laying in the middle of the room and I'm doing the dishes I'll look over and he'll be on the other side of the room trying to either stick something in his mouth or touching something with his hands and feet!  He's a funny kid! 
Joel:
Joel is a working busy bee! He is trying as hard as he can to provide for our family which makes me very proud of him! We recently got infested by fleas from our neighbor's dog!  So he's been freaking out a bunch and we've been flogging the place with pesticides! lol

Me:
I've been good.  Health is good... altho I did got to the doctor for back pain and he adjusted my back and it's surprisingly starting to feel better.  I'm finally getting the hang of things when it comes to being a wife, Mom, and myself.  It's super hard to keep up with everything but I can do it.  My brother just got married last month to a wonderful lady and now everyone in my immediate family is happily married!  It's amazing! 
Everything else:
Well we're still moving up to Payson in the beginning of the new year.  We're trying to find a new place figure out when to pack and blah blah blah... did I mention that I hate moving! Lol On a brighter note I've been on a major crafting mood!  I actually made myself a "Project Folder" of all the crafts that I find fun and I write them down and cut and paste the pics onto the pages... then when I have free time and the supplies I do the craft!  Its SOOOOO fun!  I'm also have a huge nesting bug when it comes to cleaning EVERYTHING!!!  I want to get new/used kitchen stuff... I have a plan... which is also in my project folder lol... I'm a little crazy at the moment! 

Well it feels good to be back! I will update again soon! =)

Xoxo