A little bit of Closure

Today was a rough day for me.  Just recently a member of our church passed away.  He was an older gentleman and he had heart problems but he had a wonderful heart and was always so generous and charming.  Today was his funeral.  Once I walked into the church my heart dropped.  Realization hit me.. I hadn't been to a funeral since Bobby passed away.  I never had to think about missing his funeral or even his last few days... until now.  I felt like the whole experience of this funeral was a reenactment of Bobby's funeral.  Flashes and images of him flooded my mind and his voice whispered in my ear.

He was my walking partner in Graduation! <3 

As I walked up to our beloved Church Member, the image of Bobby popped in my mind.  I couldn't help but cry.  I was mourning two lost souls.  Even all the way to the grave sight and during the burial images of what I imagined Bobby's funeral flashed into my mind... even him in his Captain America costume!  I didn't understand what was going on and why this was happening... until I heard his voice say... "Now you can have some closure Jen." 

My Fave pic of us!

I got this peaceful feeling, that he was there with me.  He knew I cared for him and missed him and wished with all my heart and soul that I was with him during his last moments and the day we laid him to rest.  I felt like that didn't matter to him but he knew it mattered to me... so in a way he let me have it.

I miss him everyday that he is gone.  It's weird, when I cry because I miss him or pray cause I want to hear his voice... something weird happens just about every time.  At some point I'll get this overwhelming feeling like he's here with me and he's giving me this enormous hug calling me silly names.. and then there are times when I'm really really upset and I have so many doubts and questions and some concerns about his well being...  then he appears to me in my dreams.  (I heard once that Angels can only appear to you in dreams because they're in heaven and not on earth)  And in my dreams he looks perfect.  And his voice is peaceful.. and most of the time he answers my questions.  And other times he's just there with me... hanging out... 

My Best Friends =)

I'm probably nuts for thinking this but I truly believe he's there... that he's with me in my dreams.  I get that feeling that I normally got when he would walked into a room... when I'd yell out loud when I saw him...
 "BOBBY!" 

I Love That Kid.  <3 

RIP Bobby Alcorn 

Xoxo