Cleansing my Soul

I hadn't really realized how much of myself I was missing until about a week ago.  Idk if it was moving to AZ or maybe getting married really fast... or maybe when I had my miscarriage.. but when I look in the mirror I don't recognize the person starring back at me.

When I graduated from High School I was one spunky Chick!  Did random stuff, changed my look several times, wasn't afraid to be noticed.  But now I feel like I put up a wall between myself and the world.  I'm afraid to get back out there and to do something with my life... my fear of rejection has taken a hold of my life.  I hadn't done something crazy to my hair in a while so I think dying it Blondie was a huge eye opener for me.  I'm so glad I took the risk and just did it!  But my clothes are frumpy... I HATE being frumpy!  Even the word Frumpy is ugly!  I want to start finding clothes for my new figure.  I've come to terms that I'm not going to be a toothpick size anymore... my Mommy Curves are here to stay and I need to embrace it!

One other thing I need to change is: I need to put myself out there. Make friends, get a part time job, and just do something fun out of the house! I want to watch Romance movies and Dumb movies! I love being a Mom but I need to make sure I don't loose this person inside... if I do then I'll just be dead inside... I need to be awakened!  

Soaking Wet!

One of my crazy, random traditions every summer is to dance in the rain!  Idk why it is but I love doing it all he same.  So on the 4th of July it started pouring outside.. my husband opened the sliding door and said "Dance away!" So I did!  And I was in the Buff!  And it was AWESOME!  I got so soaked! It was so cold but somehow it cleansed me!  Like all the Dirt... sickness, sadness, loneliness, fear... it all washed away.. I saw what I was missing in my little life: Myself... the Real Me... the person who laughs and smiles ALL THE TIME!  Who loves to hear about all the drama although hates when its about herself... Just does stuff cause its fun... cares about everyone despite what they look like or what they've done.  A person full of LIFE!

So although it will be a challenge I'm ready to be that person again.  I'm just glad I have a wonderful support system.  My husband is always there for me, my friends and family are always looking out for me, and my Son is always there making me Smile in amazement of how lucky I am.

I love my Life... and its time to Show the World just THAT!

XOXO