For a while I've been trying to hide a spark of jealousy I had for a reason I wasn't aware of until a few days ago. I love my family to pieces and I love that all my brothers are married and they're all getting ready to have kids and actually my lovely sister in law Emily is Pregnant! Yay! I'm ecstatic! When I first found out I was so excited for them and in the pit of my stomach I felt this slight jealousy bubbling... I had no right to be jealous I mean I already had a wonderful baby boy! I never really thought about how I'd feel if one of my brother's wives had babies until now...
So then I did a little soul searching and I was suddenly stricken with a realization that I wasn't Jealous or upset with them having a baby I was upset at a different part of my family that hurt me... even though I'm sure they honestly don't even know they did.
When I was born I was the First Granddaughter on my Dad's side! My grandparents were so thrilled. I remember slight memories of spending all my time with them and they even used to call me Candy. My grandpa and I were best friends. Then when my cousin arrived we were all excited to have another girl in he family including me. But as time went on I got pushed to the side and she became the shiny new toy and a part of me was always upset. It wasn't my cousin's fault either... I honestly don't know what happened. But not only did I loose my grandparents attention but I felt like I lost my best friend... My grandpa...
So with that story in mind... the reason why I felt jealous was because I felt like the same thing might happen to Kyle... he won't be noticed anymore... he'd become overlooked.
But I came to my senses finally. My parents are amazing parents and wonderful grandparents and I know in my heart that they have a big enough heart for all of us kids and grand kids so i feel a lot better about the whole situation. I feel like I can finally be happy now that I realized what was bothering me and it wouldn't get in the way of my happiness for my brother and Emily and eventually my other brother and his wife!
If you guys are reading this now know that I love you guys... And I am SOOOOOOOOOO Excited! For many reasons we are really excited!
Xoxo
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