Not in the mood!

Well today was a tiring and bumpy road.  Joel unfortunately didn't get the Sheriff Job.  Part of the physical you had to be able to have certain amount of flexibility and although Joel was .15 of an inch away they still wouldn't give it to him.  So when he got home he was depressed and wanted to sulk which I decided was not what he needed.  He needed to talk to his friends and family cause they know how to make people feel better (Its in their job description).  Then eventually he started to feel better and we went to church and hung out with a few good friends afterwards.  


Then Adam invited us to go to a backyard music bash over at a friends and so we went.  And at first it was fun listening to everyone and we dance a bit.  But then everyone it seemed HAD to smoke and I can't stand smoke nor smoking because my grandparents both died because they smoked.  So I never want to be around it and if I am it makes me sick.  


So here I am feeling sick and starting to realize that this is not my crowd of people.  They may be great people inside in and out but it was just way too overwhelming for me.  Too many people way too many convos and so I shut down.  I wanted to talk to Joel cause at least then I would tell someone how I was doing, but he was so busy BBQing and talking to all the ladies and gents that he never actually TALKed to me yes he Talked about me but its not that same at that time and place.  


And because of that I just started to get very irritated and angry so we finally left and I try to talk to Joel about it calmly cause I know he's tired and I don't want him to think I'm that mad.  And even tho I was about to burst... I knew I was being irrational but for his sake and mine I had to talk about it otherwise it'll build up and get worse.  So when I actually get around to talking to him he get mad at me.  Which makes it worst and then when I try to defend myself he starts falling asleep!!! UG!  How do I work with that!? So now I am too mad to go back and talk to him so I took my cat ad put some comfy clothes on and I'm sleeping on a comfy couch tonight. 


Worse thing is our anniversary is on Monday and I had being mad around this time.  But then again I just wanted to tell him how I was feeling and he just turned it around and made it about him... so idk... I guess we'll have to talk tomorrow. Today was not the best of days.


Although I did paint some more.  Its looking good =) 


Xoxo